Adulting – No One Knows How

Ever since I’ve moved out from my parents’ home and started this adult thing by myself, I have people coming to me saying “Oh, you’re a proper adult now!” I just smile and nod, but the truth is I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON!

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Sorry for bad quality.

 

I’ve always dreamt of being a sophisticated businesswoman when I grow up, wear expensive and boring clothes, walk in high heels to work, grocery shopping, gym, movies, even to bed. going out to fancy and expensive restaurants meeting boring people and having boring conversations about today’s economy and complain about millennials. But I soon realized that that is so not gonna happen.

Why? First, of, I can’t walk in high heels for the life of me, wearing a tight dress or a skirt makes me extremely uncomfortable.  Secondly, eating in public. I don’t know how to do that. Why do I have three forks in front of me? Is it okay if I order chips? Do you eat it with a finger or with one of those three forks? Am I sitting right?! Too exhausting. And lastly, I have no idea how the economy works, But then I guess no one really does. I laugh too loud, make stupid jokes that nobody laughs at but me, and have a weird obsession with TV shows. Therefore, the bussines woman is out.

So when the time came for me to do this adult thing, I was confused AF. Can someone pay me for reading books? Can Netflix give me some sort of monthly awards for binge-watching TV shows? Can I get one of those Kardashian jobs where I’m paid just because I exist? Nope. So eventually I got my s*it together, finished my college, got a job and moved out. And ever since I’ve moved out from my parents’ home and started this adult thing by myself, I have people coming to me saying “Oh, you’re a proper adult now!” I just smile and nod, but the truth is I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON! The businesswoman would know, but not this ball of anxiety and procrastination (a.k.a. me). I was expecting some sort of metamorphosis, to feel like an adult, to know things. And when that didn’t happen I just continued being this confused, book-obsessive, loud-laughing and stupid-jokes-telling little human. I continued being myself. And it turned out to work just fine.

When a year passed that tiny businesswoman was still sitting on my shoulder judging me. It was hard not to listen to her. But today I have the guts to tell her: “At least I’m not as boring as you are.” And poof. She’s gone. I don’t need her anymore. I got this.

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